Wednesday Comics #12

And now, several endings. Others have noted how disconcerting it seems to read 15 conclusions in a row, and that's true, but it's also satisfying in a bizarre way. Several of these stories basically had this opportunity to prove their overall worth, and most were sterling successes. Cheers to Wednesday Comics, and I will miss you.

1. "Batman" by Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso. All of a sudden, things get Azzarelloian, which is what I was trying to predict early on and got slightly disheartened as the strip progressed. It's difficult to explain the weirdness unless you see the way Risso seems to frame it. The police are coming to get Luna, who I think jumped through a window last issue and now seems to e dead. As she lies dying, Batman starts smiling at the thought of Luna having to go to jail, at which point she recognizes Batman as a man she slept with nine issues earlier. She cries out "Bruce!" before Batman silences her by kissing her on the mouth. His face covered with blood, he walks away. What a weird ending. Batman basically kisses a dying woman to silence her last revelation in front of the cops, and we assume he may now have to contend with Gordon asking why he was kissing that woman. There are so many bizarre and disturbing Batman stories, but rarely does it become apparent that Batman's own behavior is perhaps the most distressing at all; that isn't the vibe we get from Azzarello's comic as a whole, but as a sendoff it's like shooting David Lynch into a Tim Burton movie.

2. "Metamorpho, The Element Man" by Neil Gaiman and Mike Allred. In a similar way, Gaiman and Allred seem to have just gotten their bearings again as well. Our last installment piles on the amusing plot and dialogue digressions and contains the most tolerable example of meta-type meddling we have seen yet. Of course, my favorite part is watching Simon Stagg's French chefs left behind to die as the Element Crew escapes. Urania gets a good joke about private sectors, and Java sulks. Then, we get some fake "Coming Soon" moments, which show the return of Element Dog, and a fake comic that has Java and Rex Mason as Egyptian slaves. Goofy, yes, evoking the silver age, all that typical stuff, but it's nice to see Gaiman at least pretending to do what he does best, which is developing a sort of fake internal mythology that's another step removed from the fictional story itself. The last panels are a con, but a good con. As opposed to those periodic tables, which was just a waste of space.

3. "Strange Adventures" by Paul Pope. Cool-looking as always, Pope shows us that there are acceptable and even moving ways of dialing down the action. Strange gets one more chance to muse on his existential burden, wondering if he is lying to his beloved Alanna by not admitting anything about his aged archaeologist self on earth, but he decides that it's best not to bring it up. With Lord Korgo stuk on earth, there isn't much in the way of action to get through, so we get a few panels on top that fill in the rest of the story for us. The rest of the page is devoted to panels that get smaller and smaller as our eyes move down the page--panels filled with delightful new Pope inventions that we will probably never get to see in action. But that's not the point--the point is that Pope is using this opportunity to distill the character of Adam Strange, as an agent of youthful wish-fulfillment. He is us, a man who wishes to lead a more noble and romantic life than hat he can find on earth. So it ends perfectly, with the continuing "Strange Adventures" represented by a shot of Adam once again riding his zeta beam.

4. "Wonder Woman" by Ben Caldwell. Whereas this strip, though ostensibly an ending, could turn out to be the beginning of something greater. For 12 weeks, we have seen the character of Diana grow to accept the mantlehood of Wonder Woman just as Caldwell's colors have gone from muted and obscure to bright-pink and vivid. There's no big splash page to sum everything up, as one might expect might happen: Caldwell's storytelling continues to cram in as much of the plot as is necessary. WW's battle with Dr. Poison vcomes to the fore, Cheetah dies, and Etta Candy makes her return just as Wonder Woman frees a bevy of captured Amazons and seems to once again fall into a dream. Apart from a few JLA appearances, this is really the first time I've been intrigued by the character of Wonder Woman (which unfortunately isn't enough to get me to buy her regular title). Great art can seemingly make anything interesting. Three cheers for Caldwell for being the most bold artist on Wednesday Comics by far, and for those who continue to claim it is unreadable, I say try this: read it again.

5. "Hawkman" by Kyle Baker. I'm not sure what inspired Kyle Baker to end his Hawkman story by having him rescued from Dinosaur Island by the Justice League in a rather inelegant turn of events, but it seems to have come out nicer than I can describe. Maybe it's just nice to see the members of the Justice League getting along: not only being professional with each other, but actually being friendly and inviting. having Aquaman say "Catch you at the next JLA meeting, Hawkman!" may seem to be about as reverent to the character as his "Supergirl" appearances, but why not have one story where Batman and Martian Manhunter are all pretty nice to each other? And especially when Batman was such a prick to Superman back in issue 2. We also see Hawkgirl and Hawkman in a healthy and mutually affectionate relationship for the first time ever. This isn't anything that I would necessarily like to see in the regular DC universe, but as an odd ending to a series, it's kind of worth it. Baker's art, which often shrouds the League in shadow, excels most in its rendering if faces, but damn if that last shot of the dead T-Rex carcass washed up on the beach isn't a good one.

6. "Flash Comics" by Karl Kerschl and Brenden Fletcher. I've been claiming for a while that this strip was either heading toward a bunch of exposition or an overall copout, and I'm unsure whether the fact that the latter turned out to be the approach is a good thing. I still give this high marks for looking great and unconventional, particularly with Iris reading the end of the Flash's strip that makes sense, complete with a Flash-themed crossword. The rest of it is just Barry and Iris being cute together, which I guess is the sort of thing people like to see after lots of time travel and alternate universe action. Kerschl's strip has always been one of the most bold and experimental of Wednesday Comics, and its experiments have been as successful as anyone else's: or, at the very least, it works 13 out of 15 times. That is a good number for me. I'm not sure if Kerschl could sustain these sort of ideas on a run of the regular title, but that isn't what Wednesday Comics is about. It's about good artists doing weird things with established characters, so it works.

7. "Metal Men" by Dan DiDio, Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and Kevin Nowlan. This perpetually underrated strip ends up having the highest body count in all of Wednesday Comics. Who could have pictured that? Following the rather horrible, brutal dissolving of Tin a few months back, the rest of the Metal Men follow in his stead, save Mercury, who probably survives due to the fact that he is liquid at room temperature, or something. Doc Magnus' metrosexual antagonist Dr. Pretorius finally shows himself again, and Magnus clocks him the face while Mercury, oddly nonplussed about the rest of his teammates, looks on with glee. Of course, the naysayers can say that this is cheap pathos, that Magnus can and probably will make new Metal Men, and all he ever needed was metal that exhibited certain properties, etc. That's not what this is about. Of all the stories in this volume, "Metal Men" was the one that attempted most closely to unfold in real time, to make a serial in which every strip was deliberately meant to build immediately on the last. The absurdity of having Chemo pop up aside, DiDio has paced this extremely well, and the last panel is a fitting requiem for a bunch of very odd heroes.

8. "Sgt. Rock and Easy Co." by Adam Kubert and Joe Kubert. Aah, "Sgt. Rock," you are exactly where you should be. The slow-moving adventures of Rock and Co. finally come to their end, with Joe Kubert drawing the hell out of everything and Adam Kubert ending with a storytelling no-no that I will deem acceptable because of his father's art. Unless I missed something (and it's possible, but I don't want to go through my issues again), Rock's Aunt Magda has not previously been much of a factor here, nor does it really make any sense that Rock would assume this guy was his uncle. Or, that his uncle would turn out to be a good guy in the first place. Oh well. This is a cool series with a slight script, but it's hard to do wrong with a character like Sgt. Rock, especially as during the course of this series he has been stabbed, pistol-whipped, and shot in the back at least four times. Too bad we really didn't get to see much of Easy Co. in action. Nor did we see Sarge and that lady hook up, Grand Illusion-style. I suppose that happens off-screen.

9. "Deadman" by Dave Bullock and Vinton Heuck. Since everything was more or less solved last issue, "Deadman" doesn't have anything left to do but bide some time, so it's kind of sad that this last installment doesn't really add anything new, nor does it look that great. In fact, the final power shot of Deadman rising into the air looks funny, although I can't quite place how. It's always nice to see Rama Kushna, but as Boston Brand admits, twice in one night is kind of pushing it. Early on, this was my favorite comic in all of Wednesday Comics, and I still have a fair amount of affection for it, particularly when others seem to be trashing it because it doesn't play the innovation game and it doesn't have any high-profile creator on it. Nevertheless, Deadman has been one of the coolest and most novel action-oriented strips herein, and it really made me like a character I've always had a passing affection for. Though this ending isn't much to speak of, I pronounce the rest of this strip a success.

10. "Supergirl" by Jimmy Palmiotti and Amanda Conner. I have to say it: that's really super, Supergirl. I am, of course, referring to the cutesy ending of this already cutesy series, with an artist who seems bent on making Supergirl the most cutesy-looking thing in creation. Mostly, I thought this strip was a failure, with the Dr. Mid-Nite parts holding up the best, and this last minute run-in with aliens hasn't really held up any better. Turns out the aliens are nice and harmless, and they have some conversations with Krypto and Streaky, who of course can't actually talk because they are dog and cat. Except...in a twist worthy of Rod Serling, or at least a Rod Serling who would devote the first 25 minutes of time to low comedy and cute animal poses and then get into some action, it turns out that the alien invaders were dogs and cats. So there's the end of that one. From here on out, the endings get a bit weaker.

11. "The Demon and Catwoman" by Walter Simonson and Brian Stelfreeze. Ugh, if you thought some of the innuendo in previous "Batman" strips was bad, you may want to avoid this comic, which consists of the now human Jason Blood and Catwoman talking about how they are going to have sex with each other. Seriously, that's it. It's not like this is fan-fiction level sexual tension, but it's still distressing after I noted a long time ago that Catwoman had a tendency to be portrayed as basically a whore (which, to be fair, she actually was, back when Frank Miller revamped her origin). To be honest, I wish it was Etrigan it was hitting on, although no one wants to see that in action. Like everything else, it's a good-looking script, hampered with what seems like a series of bad choices and a writer who doesn't pace things very well. Which is ridiculous, because this is Walt Simonson, who should know as well as anyone how to draw out an epic story. I will simply assume he had more important things to do.

12. "Kamandi: The Last Boy On Earth!" by Dave Gibbons and Ryan Sook. Sook's art isn't as weak (comparatively) in this installment as it has been been the last few issues, but it's too late as Gibbons keeps the turgid prose going and promises further adventures of Kamandi, who may now find out that he is not the last boy on earth. Seriously, the most exciting thing about this installment is that we get to see Kamandi as drawn by Jack Kirby, looking dynamic as always. Is it just me, or does Kamandi look disproportionately huge in that last panel? Or am I missing something? When this strip was good, it was good, but it definitely jumped the shark at some point.

13. "Superman" by John Arcudi and Lee Bermejo. The aforementioned Batman, who was acting really mean earlier, manages to lighten up enough to take out that other alien that Superman forgot about and was really scared for a second. With Lois okay, everything is back to normal. The only question, then, is what the hell this series was really supposed to be about, and whether or not this whole plot of Superman being mopey and depressed was just a really pathetic sort of joke. Maybe. Certainly, we still don't know what the aliens were doing and why they decided to mess with Superman. But we did get to see like six straight weeks of them beating on each other. I think Arcudi needs to get new priorities or lay off aliens unless they already exist.

14. "Teen Titans" by Eddie Berganza and Sean Galloway. This strip doesn't so much end as it does just plod ahead despite all the unanswered questions it doesn't bother dealing with. Blue Beetle is alive all of a sudden, or maybe it's just a fake statue or something. You might remember that it was revealed Deathstroke the Terminator was behind the whole thing, which also doesn't make any sense. And at the last minute, on the very last panel, Deathstroke's previously unseen daughter comes out of nowhere the unleash the smackdown on her father. The strip ends with the warning "Never the end!" Thankfully, in this case, that is untrue. Somebody tell Galloway that not having backgrounds can sometimes be confusing. Who is the guy with goggles? Oh well. At least it's not...

15. "Green Lantern" by Kurt Busiek and Joe Quinones. In which two self-obsessed lotharios have a beer together and indulge in levels of testosterone that are cartoonish for even a cartoon. I have no more to say about this comic, not only because I am near the end but because I feel I use the word "douchebag" to describe Hal Jordan enough anyway. If your idea of a good time is to watch this "hothead" (as Geoff Johns likes to keep reminding us) act all bro with a bro of his, you may like this.

Wednesday Comics #11

The corner is officially rounded, and as I predicted, almost all the comics in tandem have been stepping up their game, if ever so slightly.

1. "Hawkman" by Kyle Baker. You already know why this is at #1 again. Baker finally lives up to his long promise to bring Aquaman into the fold, and the setup is ingenious even if Aquaman himself ends up being only a blip on the page, artistic-wise. Last issue, Katar Hol was in the midst of fighting and making fun of a T-Rex on Dinosaur Island, which ended up not being a good idea. Hawkman's solution is to take advantage of being around the beach front, and he dives into the ocean, with the T-Rex following. The battle seems to be lost until a shark and an octopus do their part and incapacitate the great lizard, just as Aquaman shows up on a giant seahorse to finish the job. Some might be asking if it's wise to have Aquaman of all people to show up and rescue our hero, particularly if this seems to be the end of the series, but Baker has already done a good job of setting this up, without belaboring the overly obvious. And his style--washed out, photorealistic--really shows its worth in scenes where dinosaurs battle with sea creatures.

2. "Flash Comics" by Karl Kerschl and Brenden Fletcher. I suppose we had already seen the end of the dueling Iris and Flash (and occasionally Gorilla Grodd) strips. It seems less and less likely that even Kerschl can fill in enough explanation next issue to make sense of this whole project, but as I keep saying, one of the benefits of doing these sorts of throwback strips is that you can take those old strips' aversion to explanation and scientific rationality and apply it even further. All we need to know is that Grodd has gone back in time and is now the ruler of the world, humans have disappeared, and somehow Iris is still around. As of this issue, she is falling to her death, and a brilliantly composed scene shows Barry and Iris hanging together for dear life as reality crumbles around them. There are great touches here: the Flash flinging himself off a building and vibrating through pieces of debris, the way even Grodd suddenly becomes a sympathetic and tragic figure, and the way the panels suggest everyone is slowly being enveloped into the maelstrom of the eye--there are reasons to believe that this is Kerschl's way of pressing the reset button, but he and everyone else involved with this comic deserves a rest anyway.

3. "Deadman" by Dave Bullock and Vinton Heuck. As the final battle seems to be over, Boston Brand still has to find a way to get back home. So this is as good a time as any for a bit of exposition. Apparently the innocent women who were murdered at the beginning of the story are actually servants of the evil demon Neron, who is sort of an extra-dimensional entity in competition with Kalak. And of course Brand's romantic adventures ends in heartbreak. Julianna, the one who kissed him, turns into a horrifying debased skull demon, which makes it much easier for Boston to take the Rune-Stone and head home. Boston's heroism in this issue is perfectly calibrated, a far cry from the sort of overwrought exhortations of romance and true love we tend to see from DC Comics (see Geoff Johns' "Barry Allen was dead but Iris tethered him to reality" or other such blather). Brand knows what he's doing, knows he's made mistakes, and doesn't cry about it. Bullock's best work here is the reveal of Julianna for the Neron demon she is, but the whole thing is great-looking, and really demands some sort of animated treatment.

4. "Wonder Woman" by Ben Caldwell. It might seem like an odd time, towards the end of Wednesday Comics, for Caldwell to break from his micro-story managing, and compose 2/3 of a splash page. It's also kind of an odd moment for such a huge image: Dr. Poison explains that Ares wants a new host, and Diana responds by tying Cheetah with her magic lasso and telling her to protect WW's sidekick Etta Candy. We are now completely in full-technicolor territory here, and arguments before about how plain and washed this comic seemed at the beginning have now been proven moot. It's all intentional, and everything Caldwell seems to have done in retrospect looks better and better. Seeing Wonder Woman in full garb is finally a pretty cool thing, and I look forward to Dr. Poison's beatdown. Or Ares'.

5. "Metal Men" by Dan DiDio, Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and Kevin Nowlan. I would go on a limb and say that, overall, this is a far more successful comic than Gaiman's "Metamorpho." Or at least it seems that way, as the team rallies to stop Chemo's chemical reaction in the face of imminent death. Some people have criticized the ways in which DiDio's narrative hasn't really settled into a particular niche yet: it started with some broad and silly comedy, and has since slowly ratcheted up the seriousness of the plight of the protagonists, even as the antagonists look more and more ridiculous (not that it's hard to make Chemo look ridiculous). Tin is apparently still dead, but Iron manages to hold on long enough and turn into a giant tire pump, forcing the damaged Chemo and all the other Metal Men to fall into a deep construction site, which explodes. Are we to assume that all the Metal Men are dead now? And are we also to assume that the only one Magnus really cares about is Platinum? And where is Dr. Pretorius now? None of these questions need to be answered, in part because the art is so good here that I defy anyone to not be excited by the battle with Chemo. Good job, DiDio.

6. "Metamorpho, The Element Man" by Neil Gaiman and Mike Allred. Again, this is much better, although the twist isn't much (you might congratulate Gaiman in that you hardly see it coming, but the way the story was set up, there's no reason to get excited anyway). Basically, Rex Mason and Urania Blackwell weren't actually dead, but hiding as Krypton gas, and at a convenient moment they take out Algon, the evil Latin Element Man. Everyone is pleased to see the two, except the evil bad guy, who turns out to be yet another giant bug space alien (which brings Wednesday Comics' total to about four, right). That revelation doesn't really go anywhere, but everyone else seems to escape just fine, so we are to assume that everyone is about to be saved (even as Java has no one to carry him). I always felt that this comic worked best when it didn't rely on shtick, so this is definitely one of the best-written Gaiman strips yet. "Metamorpho" solidifies its reputation as the most consistently uneven strip in Wednesday Comics. At least there's some brilliance going on, though...

7. "Strange Adventures" by Paul Pope. This may be the last time (at least for a while) that we see Pope's Mandrillus Sphynx Monkey. So it makes sense that Korgo ends up in a museum with other monkeys, observed by the museum keeperse as some sort of genetic anomaly. Is Korgo able to move, though, or is he some sort of stuffed monkey? Anyway, Pope's art and storytelling techniques continue to make a good Adam Strange tale seem absolutely great. I've ranked it a bit lower this week because it seems that the bulk of this strip's best stuff is now in the past (particularly in the first few weeks), and even Korgo in a museum doesn't given us much of an opportunity to really gauge Pope's inimitable style. All that remains to be seen is some sort of victory speech by Adam Strange, or maybe a reconciliation with Alanna--it's a shame that one of the most endearing facets of this story--that Adam doesn't know if all his adventures on Rann are hallucinations--will probably not end up factoring heavily in the final tale.

8. "Batman" by Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso. As is the case with nearly all stock noir females, the buxom Luna finally meets her end, and the only real mystery here is whether or not Batman could possibly care more than usual. One of Risso's great contributions to this collection is that he goes further than most artists in varying Batman's emotional responses: as opposed to the stone face we are used to seeing, we get Batman looking surprised, horrified, and amused, and Risso is just more brilliant than anyone in establishing these subtle visual cues. The best panel for me comes after a crying Luna takes out her gun, and you see Batman sort of horrified and yet resigned to what is probably going to happen. On the other hand, Azzarello's story seems to not be anything special, unless I'm still missing something, but this may seem so only because I am so used to Azzarello pulling the floor out from under me. Something this traditional, I never could have expected.

9. "Green Lantern" by Kurt Busiek and Joe Quinones. Despite the consistently low ratings I have given this comic, I have always at least somewhat admired Quinones' art, at least when he sticks to monster battles and isn't drawing Hal Jordan's bromance with the kind-of villain of this story. This issue is probably the best I have yet seen in part because Quinones is given more room than usual. I still imagine that this took Busiek maybe five minutes to write--something like, "Joe: draw a space battle" I would imagine, but at least Jordan's obnoxious personality is held at bay until the last panel, and Joe Dillon is not around. The one caption that Busiek provides, however, is kind of funny. Obvious question: did Green Lantern just kill everyone? So many questions unanswered. I'm still kind of angry about Busiek's last-minute imposition of an alien battle, but at least he's doing the best with what he can.

10. "Sgt. Rock and Easy Co." by Adam Kubert and Joe Kubert. Even with all the action in this particular issue, we barely move beyond snail's pace at best. Sgt. Rock has literally been battling his way outside of this particular enemy camp for about a month now, and while he barely made any progress before, he now finally reunites with his Easy Co. team. Not that he ended up needing them very much. While it seemed as if Adam Kubert was trying to juggle these two storylines so that Easy Co. would help Rock escape, it turns out that Rock basically makes it out of there after being shot in the back four times. That Rock, he's hard. Beautiful art, as usual, and Joe Kubert knows how to bring about the grotesquerie and ugliness of war without having to resort to a lot of gore and guts. I can't say that this was the most intriguing story in Wednesday Comics, but it was rare that I wouldn't enjoy it.

11. "The Demon and Catwoman" by Walt Simonson and Brian Stelfreeze. Another strip comes more or less to an end, and in a way it does so more satisfyingly than what we have come to expect from this particular duo. Looking back on it, "The Demon and Catwoman" has more or less been an endless succession of monologues that haven't really gone so far as to say where these people are or what particular is happening. Though I was expecting a fight between the possessed Catwoman and Etrigan, that didn't really happen either, but my wish is finally granted in that very same way. I have been waiting for Etrigan to do something besides be captured and yelled at by Morgaine Le Fay, and finally he gets to breathe fire and speak in rhyme. When he does that, all that Kirby-esque stuff comes to the fore and I can forget about how little has actually happened herein.

12. "Supergirl" by Jimmy Palmiotti and Amanda Conner. More alien invasion battles, except these guys don't talk. Conner's art still looks to be pretty good, but considering that Supergirl is battling a bunch of garbage men on the sun, one imagines a more drawn-out battle than what is seen here. It's too much at this point to maybe ask why these people are doing what they do to the super-pets, or whether or not at least these people are consciously aware of what they are doing. A last minute save by Krypto and Streaky promises to make for an exciting last issue, but while most comics did this setup long ago, Palmiotti has saved it for the penultimate issue, and even on a broadsheet there are only so many things you can fit (Caldwell notwithstanding).

13. "Kamandi: The Last Boy On Earth!" by Dave Gibbons and Ryan Sook. Sook's art continues to lack the pizazz it once did, while the story veers even closer into hoary soap opera territory, the kind that at least Jack Kirby could make interesting with the sort of hyperbolic and densely purple dialogue that he was capable of unleashing. Whereas Dave Gibbons doesn't really show a gift for prose, from what I can see. Were you wondering where Orora came from or how exactly she exists when Kamandi is supposed to be the last of his kind? These questions will probably not be adequately answered, now that she has been shot by an ape sniper perched on the ruins of the Washington Monument. Dr. Canus is no help, but at least we know he probably won't be the last dog on earth. "Kamandi" has one last shot before I officially declare it a comic that serendipitously entered a decline.

14. "Superman" by John Arcudi and Lee Bermejo. Bermejo makes the most with the giant panels and all that, and unlike Sook he seems to be keeping up a consistent style. Boy, though, does nothing happen in this comic. Even compared to "Sgt. Rock," this seems extremely lacking in every way possible: he doesn't do enough moping around Smallville, he doesn't ever talk rationally, and he battles with aliens could have been condensed into far fewer issues. With no Bermejo depictions of Darkseid or Luthor, there is no way I can distinguish between this issue and, say, issue 9. Hopefully something with Lois Lane is bound to happen next issue. Here's hoping that she dies, or something.

15. "Teen Titans" by Eddie Berganza and Sean Galloway. What a Shyamalanian twist (not a compliment). The bad guy who said he was Arthur Light's son turns out to be Deathstroke the Terminator, which at least explains why someone named "Trident" was capable of taking down the Titans. Still, we don't know who this guy is that is explaining how he knew Slade Wilson is under the mask, and his reasons for doing so seem odd: apparently, Deathstroke is unable to take down the Titans because he looks at them in some odd way as "family." So, in order to take them down for good, he hypnotized himself as Arthur Light's son from the future, unencumbered by any need other than straight revenge. Does this seem like a twist that comes out of nowhere? Yes it does. Even if it didn't though, it still doesn't do much to explain what exactly is happening, where everyone happens to be, and who a lot of the characters are. So is Blue Beetle officially dead, or something? Oh well.

Wednesday Comics #10

As we round the corner, some of the flaws in many of Wednesday Comics' best strips become more apparent; by the same token, some have only begun to loosen up, and a few seem to have more or less ended their primary narratives. Let's take a look.

1. "Hawkman" by Kyle Baker. The T-Rex/Hawkman fight that had seemed inevitable for so long finally comes to a head, and boy does Baker figure a way to make a satisfying start. I will not lie: the reason this is #1 (apart from the fact that many of the strips don't seem as good this time) is because not only does Katar Hol bash a T-Rex's snout with his mace, he then has the gall to make fun of his thoroughly pissed opponent for not being able to touch his nose. If anyone was saying before that Baker didn't really have a handle on Hawkman's personality, at least this seems sort of in keeping with the way in which the DC universe often has him portrayed: a thoroughly arrogant warrior type, who Kevin Smith tried to convince us was also a Republican (remember, he used to be a cop). The T-Rex responds by whomping Hawkman twice in the face with his tail, the action of which isn't rendered exactly clear, but at least we have a sense that this may be a losing battle for Hawkman. Only Aquaman can save him now, I guess.

2. "Wonder Woman" by Ben Caldwell. Etta Candy is forced to take some sort of drug, and freaks out. Meanwhile, the drab color scheme at the beginning of Caldwell's tenure begins to make more sense, as we are moving more and more into full-on technicolor mode. Which is made all the more obvious as Diana finally picks up her costume and reclaims her shiny tiara and bracelets from Cheetah. Caldwell's layouts continue to be brilliant, again using the space provided to play with forward motion and have our eyes directed leftward as opposed to the usual right. It also happens that the plot is coming together, but unlike many of the other comics, it doesn't seem either like there is a danger of the strip ending prematurely, nor do I have any worries that Caldwell will leave any big questions unanswered. This strip has continued to be one of the primary reasons why Wednesday Comics is really worth your money--even at its most average, it has more going on, and more to look at, than several of the other lower-tier comics combined. The WW/Cheetah fight also stands out as its own perfectly-composed beast. Too bad there's no Dr. Psycho, though.

3. "Metal Men" by Dan DiDio, Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and Kevin Nowlan. Panel of the week award will probably have to go to the snail's eye shot of poor Lead forced to act as a sealant as Chemo threatens to reach critical mass. Things are starting to get more serious, and finally Magnus' metrosexual enemy Dr. Pretorius has made himself scarce, so one expects that terrible things might indeed happen to the Metal Men this time around. Except, as we all know, Magnus can always make new ones. This strip continues to not get very much attention in part I suppose because DiDio is writing it and people love to complain; really, it's as good-looking a strip as any, it's certainly funnier on a more consistent level than something like "Supergirl," and frankly ever since Chemo showed up, the whole team has been amping up the laughs, the excitement, and the pathos in equal measure, without resorting to cutesiness, gimmickiness, or simply meandering. It also has managed to keep from lagging, which is another reason why I put it at #3.

4. "Strange Adventures" by Paul Pope. Pope's depiction of zeta beams look awesome, and they should be the standard bearer for other artists. My initial disappointment about Pope not bringing out any new creatures after introducing the hideously Pope-ian mandrillus sphinx monkeys has waned quite a bit, but this is still more of a transition issue than anything. I suppose next week we get to see the money shot, of Korgo being a regular monkey trapped in a cage in a zoo or something. Both this book and "Kamandi" have shown that it's difficult to pull off massive panels when they are more or less confined to two pages, but "Strange Adventures" has never been about the huge battles anyway. It's about the weirdness and the pulpiness, as filtered through Pope, and in that respect, at least, the strip continues to live up to its title. Pope or someone else might want to consider a sequel, though.

5. "Metamorpho, The Element Man" by Neil Gaiman and Mike Allred. I have been harsh, perhaps too harsh, on Gaiman's "Metamorpho" in the past, in part because I tend to expect a lot from both the writer and artist. This is a comic that works better when it sticks to the story, as opposed to when it tries to play games with the larger format (the opposite of something like "Flash Comics"). So this time around, I find Gaiman's style fits the content far better. Allred also gets a few creepy points for whatever is wearing a poorly fitting mask of the departed Simpkins. And Algon looks crazy as well, and apparently isn't as proficient in Latin as one would imagine him to be. Java's interjections continue to be cute, and I had been going back and forth on whether or not they would or wouldn't tell us something about Java that had to do with the plot. At this point, though, I'll stick with just "cute." It's ironic that although Metamorpho and Urania died in the last issue, it's this issue that I start actually caring about what happens, now that I know that the whole earth is threatened, and Algon is frighteningly close to destroying it for no reason.

6. "Flash Comics" by Karl Kerschl and Brenden Fletcher. So, as far as I can tell, present Barry Allen has someone ended up 50 years in the future in an alternate timeline where Grodd was able to utilize the Flash's speed to rip open a hole in time and go back and remake the earth as monkeys. And Grodd in retrospect doesn't seem to remember this, but is upset that the Flash has gone in time because it seems now as if HE is replacing the timeline so that humans are back in charge. In the center of this maelstrom, for some reason, is Iris. Kerschl's innovative technique is certainly the reason to read this strip, which has been piling on the time travel headaches as of late. It's cool stuff, but like almost everything else here, it's still in transition. Compared to last week's feat of brilliance, where Kerschl reimagined the courtship of Barry and Iris through the lens of famous Sunday cartoons, this is pedestrian. Compared to almost anything else, it's still brilliant.

7. "Sgt. Rock and Easy Co." by Adam Kubert and Joe Kubert. Continuing along at a snail's pace, this increasingly cool-looking strip manages to subvert my expectations for once, as Sgt. Rock finally gets the drop on someone, even with welts taking over his already hideous face. So it seems as if Sarge is probably going to make it out this time. Although he seems to do badly at taking out multiple guards at once, he will probably have no problem shooting the last Nazi in the vicinity (hopefully). And if that doesn't work out, the rest of Easy Co. has made it into the fort. At the very least, Adam Kubert is a good enough writer to know how to wind down organically. This strip, which has always managed to take decompression to a new level, is still one of the best-looking examples of Joe Kubert's art. It is for that reason alone that I continue to like it as much as I do. I'm sure that most others feel the same.

8. "Deadman" by Dave Bullock and Vinton Heuck. "Deadman," on the other hand, seems to have reached its denouement, unless I'm figuring something wrong here. With two issues left to go, there seems to not be enough time for Kalak to come back and fight our hero again, so it looks like all that is left is for Boston Brand to rejoin the surface world and say goodbye to the spirit lady he kissed earlier. So that's disappointing, in a way, even if the strip continues to be stylistically one of the coolest to look at and possibly frame in the future. The fight with Kalak is itself a marvel of stylish momentum, with a great money shot at the end. Don't have much more to say about it than that.

9. "The Demon and Catwoman" by Walt Simonson and Brian Stelfreeze. Not much to say here, either, except that while other comics are winding down, this is finally starting to get somewhere. Not a good sign. For reasons that continue to not be very apparent, Catwoman has just turned, just as she throws a sword through Morgaine Le Fay. Etrigan does something useful, for once, removing the collar on Catwoman that kept her from fighting. And yet it seems that as usual he is easily overpowered by Le Fay, for reasons that once again probably won't be apparent. Stelfreeze's art continues to grow on me. He particularly nails the last panel one-two of Catwoman going from scared to evil. Will we finally see Etrigan do what Etrigan does best? He'd better, in two pages or less.

10. "Batman" by Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso. This is one of those comics which seems to be headly strictly into aimless, biding time territory, fairly soon. Why else would you have Batman about to easily overtake the woman he had been sleeping with (for no reason, it seems so far), before he is suddenly beaten back by attack dogs. It's a very video game thing going on here: Batman can't get to the boss yet, and we know easily he would overpower her anyway, so first he'll have to contend with some fierce dogs that come out of nowhere. Is it just me, or does this seem to happen a lot with Batman? He should know by now how to take down multiple ravenous dogs, because the Joker sics them on him all the time. Otherwise, Risso's stuff looks pretty great. If Luna manages to put up a fight next issue, that might make things a bit more interesting. As of now, I'm predicting some more standard film noir play at work.

11. "Kamandi: The Last Boy On Earth!" by Dave Gibbons and Ryan Sook. Sook's art continues to look weaker and weaker, with a fraction of the beauty of the money shots Sook scattered around in the first few issues. The poor U.S. Capitol in the background of the first panel looks half-rendered. Never has the battle between lions, tigers and monkeys seemed less exciting. Particularly since, like "Strange Adventures," the battle is more or less fought and ended in a few panels, and now all that's left we assume is some brutal monkey torture. My personal favorite shot here is of Dr. Canus helping along, firing a machine gun with his bandaged arm (remember, he survived being in a crashing blimp earlier). I can't even tell at this point whether Gibbons' prose seems as substandard as it always is or if everyone is just starting to slum it. Mark Chiarello deserves major props for keeping as many teams together as he did, but in the case of Kamandi, this may be the only comic that seems to be experiencing a natural downslide in terms of quality.

12. "Superman" by John ARcudi and Lee Bermejo. The first panel looks really cool, at least as long as you ignore the slightly off-looking Supergirl. This comic has always come a close second to "Sgt. Rock and Easy Co." in terms of sheer decompression, but unlike that comic, this didn't have a very coherent or groundbreaking artistic style. Oh, Bermejo certainly knows how to draw some good looking figures, but that's not the same as using that skill to compose the story in ways that use the benefits of an over-sized format. I love his Darkseid and his Lex Luthor, even if the reasons for drawing them are completely gratuitous (I'm reminded of Captain America: Reborn, where there are a lot of gratuitous old-school action shots of Captain America doing his thing from 70s comics, as drawn by Bryan Hitch). As for the plot, who knows? Not much has made sense or even been particularly relevant, although people seem to be more happy with Superman punching things than they are with him moping. Me, I happen to be the opposite. Or at least I like a little of both.

13. "Supergirl" by Jimmy Palmiotti and Amanda Conner. Conner certainly knows how to draw a cool-looking spaceship in the sun. Also, the picture of Supergirl wearing sunglasses and applying sunscreen is funny. However, it seems too late in the game for aliens to be introduced into the story (see "Green Lantern"). And so far, these aliens have yet to distinguish themselves as anything other than evil jackbooted harvesters of solar flares. Sometimes this comic is good, and it usually looks pretty good, but the pacing is always somewhat off. Next issue will probably see some more Streaky/Krypto action, and I have no idea if it will turn out for good or ill. This is one comic that will probably work better in trade form.

14. "Green Lantern" by Kurt Busiek and Joe Quinones. I read somewhere that Busiek wrote the latter half of this comic in about a day: this makes sense to me. Busiek certainly knows his silver age stuff, which might be why he is perhaps indulging in some of the worst tendencies of the period: to keep repeating the same stories, over and over again, and thinking that somehow having the aliens look or sound different qualifies as a different plot. We see enough alien invasions elsewhere in Wednesday Comics, but these ones are particularly uninspired. And what exactly is Joe Dillon talking about? Lord, maybe it's just the glut of Blackest Night stuff, but Hal Jordan just seems so overplayed.

15. "Teen Titans" by Eddie Berganza and Sean Galloway. Still can't tell what's going on, where people are, etc. Still can't see what this guy Trident is up to and why it matters. Still can't tell if this is supposed to be something more or less in-continuity. Still can't figure if Berganza intends this as a civilian-eye view on the damages that super-teams can sometimes cause. Don't know who the guy with the green goggles is at the end. Amazingly, Dr. Light's son is under the impression that because the Spectre turned his dad into a candle, this is somehow the Titans' fault. And that at some point Robin and Nightwing and the rest will become evil tyrants. And where did Nightwing go, anyway? And etc.

Wednesday Comics #9

If I've ever been as sure as I am this week that there is a clear, definite winner, I can't recall. And now I'm finally going to caught up, with a day extra because of Labor Day!

1. "Flash Comics" by Karl Kerschl and Brenden Fletcher. "Flash Comics" has always been close to the best comics, but I don't think it's ever been as good as it is this week. In fact, it might get my vote for best individual strip out of the 135 or so I've read so far. Kerschl breaks open the whole MO of the Sunday comic strip by telling the story of Barry and Iris' relationship through appropriations of other famous cartoons. So we get little Barry Allen as Charlie Brown, and then the art style switches to "Modesty Blaise" and then (perhaps most awkwardly) we get a version of Barry and Iris as Blondie and Dagwood. There does seem to be a whiff here of Kerschl and Fletcher trying to make their best case for "hey, we're reinventing the wheel" but that doesn't stop me from enjoying how dynamic and fun to read these pages often are. It also suggests that, unlike many of the other comics, "Flash Comics" is not simply a monthly reduced to newspaper form, but is itself dependent on the standards and laws of Sunday strips, even the lamer ones. The whole thing is just ridiculously cool to look at, and Kerschl does a good job appropriating these other art styles (if nothing else, Kerschl as cemented a reputation as Wednesday Comics' most able chameleon). It's so good, in fact, that you'll hardly notice that this is the third straight week of the Flash being terrified that people are turning into monkeys. So in a way it doesn't follow any better than "Teen Titans" seems to, but the difference here is obviously the beautiful and novel risks taken here.

2. "Hawkman" by Kyle Baker. I incorrectly predicted that last issue was setting up a big battle with a T-Rex. In fact, it was only setting up further setup for the inevitable Hawkman/T-Rex confrontation, but boy am I looking forward to it now. The last shot of Katar running head on at the dinosaur is among the coolest panels I have seen yet from Baker. Hawkman's dialogue with a sassy passenger is also fun ("Listen, I know something about a T-Rex. I'm a museum curator." "I'm a superhero! And I say run!"). It's funny, because in the situation Hawkman is probably wrong. But he who has the mace gets to dictate the rules, I guess. For the second time, Aquaman is a no-show.

3. "Batman" by Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso. We get something that has become more and more rare--a dynamic action scene, plus a few clear shots of Batman doing his thing. No explanation as to how Batman managed to find Luna only moments after being yelled at by Commissioner Gordon, but since this is Batman we are talking about, all is accepted. Risso's art continues to look better and better, and really shines in particular during a well-lit scene like this. The plot is otherwise pretty dispensable, and I have been waiting for several weeks now to see an interesting twist of some note. I suppose I'll have to wait even longer. Maybe Luna turns out to be less crazy than we imagine her to be. As far as filler goes, this is tops.

4. "Wonder Woman" by Ben Cadlwell. More good-looking filler along these lines here. Etta Candy returns, Wonder Woman uses her newfound lasso to attack some more henchmen, and it seems like at least some of the pieces are starting to come together. I suppose it's no coincidence that the colors seem to be getting more and more vivid as the strip progresses, and finally "Wonder Woman"" looks like it properly belongs in newsprint. Caldwell also has some good shots of a poor destitute nun, and a great horizontal panel in which Wonder Woman decides to not even bother dealing with Dr. Poison's henchmen, and just floats above them. Here as in elsewhere, we're just biding time until the end, but at least it's consistent and it looks better than almost anything else here.

5. "Deadman" by Dave Bullock and Vinton Heuck. It seems now that Bullock and Heuck have a lot of story to cover and not much time to do so. That doesn't stop us from getting the money shot that I was so looking forward to last time: Boston Brand jump-kicking the fiery axe-wielding Kalak in the face. Kalak hasn't really come across as a very interesting or provocative bad guy yet, despite his proclivities for killing and mutilating prostitutes, but he's invested with such a great look that its almost like he is an ideal villain for something like Wednesday Comics. Even his chant is great. Bullock is still the master of dynamic action sequences, the last thing one would expect from a Deadman book. Unfortunately this strip isn't as good as many of the others in part because it seems to be setting up more of what we have already seen before. As much as I occasionally like acrobatic Boston Brand battling winged demons, I'd rather the story progressed toward a conclusion. Also, Boston makes mention of a portal that would lead him to freedom, but we don't see it yet. Not Bullock's best storytelling.

6. "Strange Adventures" by Paul Pope. Pope's work is always great, but again it seems like he's drawing stuff he did before to no better effect, and the return of Adam Strange is kind of underwhelming, ignoring many of the interesting questions Pope put forth forward about the veracity of Strange's space adventures. At least a zeta beam battle is hinted at the end of this strip, which may allow for all sorts of amusing interstellar battles between Strange and Korgo, the leader of the evil Mandrillus Sphynx Monkeys. I love Pope's Escher-esque landscapes, so it's really too bad you don't get a good look at anything other than a bunch of stairs. Still, this is all nitpicking. By any other standard, "Strange Adventures" always looks great and has the kind of style and storytelling panache that the other strips can only somewhat attempt on their best weeks. If they were to do another series of Wednesday Comics, I would suggest they put Pope on something like the Justice League, and really allow him to stretch out his style and his character models.

7. "Metal Men" by Dan DiDio, Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and Kevin Nowlan. Doc Magnus' new oddly metrosexual antagonist Dr. Pretorius remains supremely unhelpful in this ish, but more cheery than he has been otherwise. Platinum continues to be the most worthless Metal (wo)Man, it seems that Tin might actually be dead (I love the fact that Garcia-Lopez shows him covered with rust), and Chemo is outside leaking all over the place, on the verge of a chemical reaction. All the pieces are set in place for what should be a very interesting conclusion. And DiDio seems to understand the pace of this series better than most: the last panel really suggests that we are entering the denouement, and that the Metal Men are finally going to start acting like superheroes under the tutelage of their mentor. I love how DiDio never bothers to explain why or how exactly Pretorious and Chemo came to be in league; looking back on the last eight issues, it seems that Pretorius hired a bunch of goons to hold up a bank where Doc Magnus happened to be, and then when that was foiled Pretorius threatened to blow himself up, and when that didn't work, he somehow found a way to have Chemo rip off the roof on cue. Pure, silly delight. I also like how strangely non-threatening Garcia-Lopez makes Chemo act, in contrast to how much damage he's capable of doing. Does anyone else notice that this seems to be the only strip that is more or less unfolding in real time?

8. "Sgt. Rock and Easy Co." by Adam Kubert and Joe Kubert. Like the Kuberts, I am nothing if not consistent. The only big shakeups we see this time are a) Joe deviated if ever so slightly from the nine-panel grid, and b) Sgt. Rock actually shoots someone. But then the heroic Nazi Gustav is murdered, and Rock gets clubbed in the head with a rifle, so it looks like we're back where we started. Meanwhile, we learn via caption that the group Easy Co. is hanging with is called the Partisans, only one panel before one of the members finally introduces themselves. Another member of Easy Co. (I don't know any of their names) gets the line of the week: "Yeah. Ain't nothin' easy in easy." There's some sort of poetry about that, considering just how much of a beating Sgt. Rock seems to take on an hourly basis. Beautiful pictures, pedestrian dialogue, and a plot that moves at a snail's pace: this is what we have come to expect from the Kuberts at this point. File this under "reads better collected." Although it may turn out to read better collected than a lot of the other strips that I ranked higher.

9. "Supergirl" by Jimmy Palmiotti and Amanda Conner. There are many nice touches here, and Palmiotti certainly shows a greater command of what makes Dr. Mid-Nite cool than he did of Aquaman. The explanation for Krypto and Streaky's behavior is about as silly as can be: it has something to do with solar flares, except the superpets aren't normally affected by solar flares, but this was before there was an alien spaceship in the sun! Why Dr. Mid-Nite, who I think is supposed to be a surgeon, would be on top of this, I don' know. I like that he is wearing a band-aid after last issue's scuffle. He got off surprisingly easy, though. Continually while I read this strip I keep thinking of a slightly altered one in which Krypto and Streaky reign senseless carnage Kid Miracleman-style, with dead mutilated bodies and buildings in ruin. Instead, Dr. Mid-Nite's poor owl seems to have been the most unlucky.

10. "The Demon and Catwoman" by Walt Simonson and Brian Stelfreeze. There are some things that I really like about this comic: the character of Jason Blood being among them. Unfortunately neither he nor his alter ego Etrigan have really done much of note other than listen to Morgaine Le Fay prattle on about her plans to be eternally young (and use Blood as a concubine of sorts). Finally, we get something of a reason for why Catwoman is there, although I'm not sure if her and Le Fay are switching bodies or if Le Fay is simply stealing her youth. A nice touch: Blood calling the form of Etrigan by speaking Latin, which is slightly shorter. And really, when an aging, sagging Le Fay says "Etrigan! I should have killed you centuries ago!" I wonder why she didn't think of that during the several hours when Jason Blood was right there for her to kill. Stelfreeze's art is sometimes a mixed bag but I think he draws Etrigan better than most.

11. "Kamandi: The Last Boy On Earth!" by Dave Gibbons and Ryan Sook. Sook's normally imperishable art seems to look more rushed than usual, with even the decayed ruins of the U.S. capitol not packing the sort of visual punch one would imagine. This strip has suffered from pacing problems since the beginning, and that is never more apparent than now, as it seems Kamandi and the lion clan have already made the trek to save their clan only moments after the Last Boy convinced them to come to his side. Some of the dialogue is better than usual ("'We care not, monkey,' roars great Caesar. 'We die as we lived--noble tigers.'"), but this is still hardly gripping prose, either by Grendel or by Prince Valiant standards. At the very least, we may get some beautiful monkey-lion fighting shots next issue. I hope this project isn't wearing Sook down, as he is one of the single best things about Wednesday Comics.

12. "Green Lantern" by Kurt Busiek and Joe Quinones. I guess the best thing I have seen yet in "Green Lantern" so far is the naked Joe Dillon falling to his death. Still, though, if it's taken us nine issues to get to the actual alien invasion, I find it hard to believe that Busiek has a very impressive invasion to show us. Exactly how does Hal Jordan's ring burn off the alien spore, or whatever it was, and how did he know it was a fungus? I know I'm not supposed to be asking questions like this of deliberately retro comics, but it all seems so...charmless. As if Busiek is under the mistaken impression that Hal can carry a book by his charisma alone. He is wrong. It almost makes me wish that we would return to the rest of Jordan's pilot crew, even though I hated them in the first issue. I'm only somewhat psyched about this impending invasion (if it even happens), but I doubt it will be as cool as the twist in "Hawkman."

13. "Superman" by John Arcudi and Lee Bermejo. Speaking of hoary concepts that sink upon any further recollection, we finally find out that aliens are responsible for Clark feeling sullen and lonely and homesick. As if Superman isn't perfectly capable of having these feelings on his own. Bermejo continues his streak of massive spreads in which nothing dynamic really happens, but it looks pretty nonetheless. I have no reason to hate this comic--indeed, at the beginning, I liked it a lot--but at the pace its going it seems to have no chance of offering any sort of insight on Superman's misgivings, nor does it offer much of a chance to see much of a brawl, at least nothing that we haven't seen before. If "Superman" isn't the most disappointing strip here, it is at least the one that could probably benefit from several more issues of reasoned exposition.

14. "Teen Titans" by Eddie Berganza and Sean Galloway. So last week I thought Robin and Trident were about to be locked in a death-duel, but apparently that didn't happen. Or the perspective changed, or something. One might be under the impression reading this that Galloway is using Robin and Nightwing interchangeably, as they both seem to be going after Blue Beetle but are never shown in the same shot. Was the Trident that fought before an illusion? I guess so. Why even bother tying himself up and turning into Blue Beetle? This is just a mess, storytelling, composition, and art-wise. Perhaps the least noble failure in Wednesday Comics.

15. "Metamorpho, the Element Man" by Neil Gaiman and Mike Allred. As I predicted, more of the same. Horrid, endless puns that cross the line from being knowing to simply obnoxious. Java and Stagg become more unlikeable with every issue. Urania Blackwell is seemingly dead, and Rex seems sure to follow, but we have long gone past the point where I feel as if I should care about the characters. No more of this, Gaiman. I like these sorts of ideas as much as the next person but what we have here is a lot of space and dialogue wasted, in a strip that is in need of a new and interesting concept.

Wednesday Comics #8

I have to say this isn't the best issue of Wednesday Comics, overall: a lot of my more favorite comics seem to be biding time at this point, and plenty more have either stagnated or taken very predictable turns. The way it's set up, however, I'm prepared for a series of super-climaxes in issue 9. Prepare for some critical surprises as well.

1. "Wonder Woman" by Ben Caldwell. You people tired of whining about how tiny the panels are? Well here you get a wonderful, big picture of Fenris, long a gigantic killer wolf of Asgardian lore, I think (and therefore a supporting character in Thor whenever Ragnarok comes around), shown here trapped by the magic lasso that we know Wonder Woman has to procure. We also get an introduction to a whirring toy-lady whose name and function I can't recall. Seriously, though, I wonder if this comic will get a bit more respect not that Caldwell has given in to including a money shot like Ryan Sook does. It's still really good fun, though. By this point Caldwell has laid out the tone and the mission fairly consistently, and doesn't take odd gimmicky corners the way other strips seem to ("Metamorpho"). The lasso-tied Fenris is going to stay with me for a really long time, however, in part due to Caldwell's always excellent use of white space, which he seems to just be getting the hang of. I wasn't aware that the magic lasso can also force a person to agree to binding oaths after the lasso is no longer on said person. Whether or not this is true in the regular books, the fact is that Caldwell has done more to interest me in Wonder Woman lore than I ever thought possible, even as I always liked her in Morrison's JLA series. Since Morrison is rumored to be working on some sort of new-feminist Wonder Woman project, I have a humble suggestion for an illustrator right here...

2. "Flash Comics" by Karl Kerschl and Brenden Fletcher. Still confusing, still kind of delightful. I'm not even necessarily waiting for dual-strip comeback at this point, nor am I particularly interested in seeing Gorilla Grodd again. I just like the mad way Kerschl has all these different Flashes running around making things worse for themselves. The benday dots make a few appearances here, but it seems like Kerschl and Fletcher are gradually trying to emphasize the more action and superhero-oriented plotline, which, considering the intended audience, makes sense. Kerschl also gets points for what is possibly the most terrifying parting shot of any strip yet, although I can't really tell if all the different Flashes are disassociating or what, exactly. It was odd enough with the evil lush chimpanzee last issue, but this is even more intriguing. I know Kerschl has a lot to answer and wrap up in these next fours issues--on average, more than I think the other artists, who seem to already be moving towards an ending. As I stated last issue, I support the right of Kerschl and Co. to keep doing their science-time travel mumbo-jumbo and not make any sense for as long as they want.

3. "Metal Men" by Dan DiDio, Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and Kevin Nowlan. Am I committing heresy by giving such props to an unabashedly old-school superhero strip, written by Dan DiDio? It may not have the cutesy parlor tricks of "Metamorpho," but it does provide some solid superhero action with good dialogue, which is actually a rarity in this collection. I can't understand why Garcia-Lopez and Nowlan aren't considered art superstars, considering how consistent and modern they manage to keep the tone in spite of increasing ridiculousness. I suppose that they haven't really done anything very innovative, but in a crowded hall of artists all trying to out-innovate each other, sometimes the freshest point of interest is a work of art like this, in which the Metal Men continue their battle against Chemo. You'll remember that last issue Tin was dissolved by Chemo's corrosive acid (and may actually be dead, considering he didn't show up in this issue). While Platinum finally gets angry at Dr. Pretorius, who for a normal guy has managed to escape death quite a few times, Iron goes after Chemo but turning into a big iron ball and cracking Chemo's outer shell. Obviously, this is a stupid idea, the same thing everyone does when they fight Chemo (or Captain Atom, actually). I love the way DiDio sets this up almost like a silent comedy: intrepid heroes do their best to be heroic, and end up making things worse episode after episode. How are they going to get out of this jam? What was Dr. Pretorius thinking during all of this? My advice: put lead on the case, and contain the radiation. This comic makes me feel like a nerd. This week, that's a good thing.

4. "Supergirl" by Jimmy Palmiotti and Amanda Conner. Maybe it's that I'm happy to see Dr. Mid-Nite. Maybe it's that we are finally done with the all to obvious Aquaman jokes. Maybe it's because the end actually promises some sort of explanation for Krypto and Streaky's behavior (can I guess red kryptonite?). Whatever it is, "Supergirl" has never looked better or been more satisfying. In fact, I was more pleased to see the opening image, which has Dr. Mid-Nite on a computer showing Streaky and Krypto wearing ill-fitting helmets to measure their brainwave patterns, than I was to see anything else this week. Supergirl has never appealed to me very much as a character (never really liked to whole legacy aspect of DC's parade of corporate logos), and this comic doesn't really change that for me. Palmiotti seems to like the aspect of the character that allows her to be a heroic superhero but otherwise a normal teenage girl, which heaven forbid means she would ever read a book, or even watch a television show without vociferously changing channels. I guess Palmiotti has his finger on the pulse of a generation. Sigh.

5. "Hawkman" by Kyle Baker. You got Hawkgirl, Batman (who Baker draws to look kind of like Bela Logosi) and a Tyrannosaurus Rex, plus a portent that Aquaman may be joining the action next issue (which is what I thought several issues ago, before he ever showed up in "Supergirl"). Like most of the strips this week, this is pretty plot-oriented, and there isn't some central, gorgeous image to latch onto (the dinosaur itself looks kind of tiny, actually--I bet Katar could take it down himself with his sword). Hawkgirl looks great, murdering the remainder of the alien fleet, while Batman looks a bit sickly and alien himself. By counterpointing the slightly larger threat of an alien invasion with what is happening on Dinosaur Island, Baker covers a lot of ground, and I give him a lot of credit for that. Baker's art continues to be great--stylish and yet realistic, and he does a great job giving personality to the other nameless survivors of the plane crash from several issues back. I'm looking forward to some Katar on dinosaur action, and if Baker is so inclined, I wouldn't mind a little Aquaman in there as well, as long as they stay away from the easy jokes.

6. "Strange Adventures" by Paul Pope. I think this is probably the least interesting Pope strip to date because he isn't really offering anything new, visual-wise, in any of these panels, and frankly it's just not a busy strip in general. Still, there's nothing really wrong with it. While I'm pleased to see the return of Pope's Mandrillus Sphynx Monkeys, I'm sad that Pope didn't bother to draw some new alien race into the action. It seems that the upcoming war will be between two factions of blue space monkeys covered with piercings. Well, we have that to look forward to at least. It's nice to see Alanna again, who I thought for a while would actually turn out to be the hero of "Strange Adventures" while her husband was back on earth. With the reconciliation inevitable, I await the battle that will ensue, and I am particularly excited to see how Pope will draw it.

7. "Batman" by Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso. One of these neatest artistic tricks I've seen thus far is in this strip, where Commissioner Gordon is shown reading a newspaper. From his point of view you can see certain words reflected in his glasses, which seem to spell out "cimo son was casino outsid ing The sry pers ound for mportant." I believe Azzarello that this will turn out to be 'mportant later. Otherwise, though, this strip continues to take the same predictable tack, with a few odd tricks thrown in. It's not too uncommon to see Gordon yelling at Batman for being an irresponsible vigilante beholden to no one, but it's still nice to hear someone talk some sense into him occasionally (it's one of the things I always liked about Batman R.I.P., when other people started asking Bruce if he really thought what he was doing was healthy). It's also cool when we see Gordon throw his newspaper into the Gotham River, and watch it float over to where Luna and the recently released Hardy Stone discuss their nefarious doings. Predictable as mud. The only thing that will surprise me is if Batman decides to cut in during the middle of their coitus, which would certainly be a new thing for Batman to do (if anyone can prove me wrong, please name me the comic and issue number). This comic is going places, I'm sure of it.

8. "Sgt. Rock and Easy Co." by Adam Kubert and Joe Kubert. Wow, it is odd that this comic is so consistently at #8. I feel like that is where this belongs. This is one of the hardest strips to evaluate critically due in part to its consistent art as well as to the fact that so little of consequence seems to be happening. After seven issues of almost Bressonian austerity, Sgt. Rock has been set free by Good Nazi Gustave, but before he can go anywhere he finds himself in a middle of a standoff! Sgt. Rock has a pistol, but a regular Nazi is threatening to cut the Good Nazi's throat! This can only play out so many ways, all of them well-worn, and Adam Kubert doesn't seem like the kind of writer who's really going to go on a limb at this point. The art continues to be good. I'm not sure if I would like Joe Kubert to shake the format up a bit--this doesn't seem like the kind of strip that needs it. Still, I can't help but feeling this is going to go nowhere and end in a most unsatisfactory manner. And it will still look pretty good.

9. "Deadman" by Dave Bullock and Vinton Heuck. I have my problems with this week's strip, but it is nice to see Boston Brand kiss a girl. Peter Parker always had problems, but being incorporeal was rarely among them. The actual image of the Boston/Julianna kiss is kind of awkward, actually--their faces don't seem to line up. In general, you don't get that facility for great images you normally get from this strip, in part because it breaks the mold in this case by simply moving along panel by panel. For "Deadman" this is a let down. Remember the last issue that had that had image of Kalak lording over his bleeding harem? Certainly, there's nothing like that this time. There are some good things here, though. While the art isn't as good, we do get what will probably turn out to be some vital information, in that there is a rune-stone. Does that seem to sound important to you? Rune-stones usually are. Let's hope Bullock and Heuck haven't come to the point where they've run out of ideas.

10. "The Demon and Catwoman" by Walt Simonson. I may consider putting this higher at some point. This strip and "Metal Men" are the two that I think are probably the most constantly underestimated in that they seem to be trying nothing more than self-contained superhero stories. Given its subject matter, it's not too surprising that "The Demon and Catwoman" seems to be full of more plot holes than the average narrative, but sometimes I wonder if Simonson isn't just making a series of odd mistakes. He certainly doesn't seem to be interested in building the same sort of rich mythology that he did with his Thor comics. As I stated earlier , Morgaine Le Fay is an overplayed villain (she bears the distinction of being a Marvel Comics bad guy as well, actually), and neither her motivations nor her powers continue to make any sense. Now that Selina Kyle is back, I don't know why they bothered having her return to normal only to see her disappear again. And part of the beauty of Jason Blood is that he almost always seems to be in control--he's done nothing but get destroyed here. Still, we are promised the return of Etrigan again next issue. I have hopes for this strip, and I think it will end up doing its job.

11. "Kamandi: The Last Boy On Earth!" By Dave Gibbons and Ryan Sook. This is hardly Sook's best work this week, either--everything is dark and murky, befitting the morbid subject matter, but you don't really see why anyone should be excited about the Lion tribe, how they differentiate themselves from the tigers, and how this is going to end up being a very interesting battle three or four weeks from now. The girl introduced so early on continues to not do very much except act as a MacGuffin of sorts that could lead to nothing. Meanwhile, Gibbons' prose continues to not be very revolutionary, plodding along with the same sort of dry style which would have bored me were it not connected with such brilliant images. So there's that.

12. "Green Lantern" by Kurt Busiek and Joe Quinones. I think I get points for predicting that Green Lantern's escape from an alien death trap would turn out to be wholly unoriginal and cheap. I had no idea. Hal Jordan tries to appeal to Joe Dillon's emotions by stupidly revealing his secret identity, as if he had no choice but to do so. This allows Dillon to momentarily gain control (how does Hal know this? Whatever) and he tells Hal to get away. How does Hal respond? "That's all I needed, Dill. You pulled free from it--just a little bit! So hang on--while I do the rest!" Cue gigantic green beam of energy. Whatever. Last issue we were promised Hal Jordan falling to certain doom. This issue it seems like that part didn't really happen. And Busiek, who seemed to be induced to providing all sorts of back story before, is suddenly silent on how Hal Jordan thinks what he does is a good idea. It does seem as if Busiek is going to have to stretch in order to find new material, if Jordan does indeed cleanse this alien spore like he says he will. Shades of Scientology? I wish. I am continually disappointed by this comic.

13. "Metamorpho, The Element Man" by Neil Gaiman and Mike Allred. Oh lord. Maybe other people found this more enjoyable to read than I did. It looks kind of cool, but the insufferable and uninteresting dialogue kind of kills a lot of the fun, and surely a wordsmith like Neil Gaiman can combine words in more interesting ways to fit the periodic table than "YuM. No problem." (Manganese). Of course Java continues to be sort of a delight, but considering the fact that we are more or less promised another issue of this, I am not excited. Gaiman isn't usually the kind of guy who sticks to puns like this, I always thought. And I never read the old-school Metamorpho comics from the 70s, but even if they were like this, there are just some parts of the Silver Age that you would be wise not to touch. Me, I'm tired of the gimmicks, at least for now, because they've crossed the threshold from novel to pedestrian. What a wildly uneven strip this is.

14. "Teen Titans" by Eddie Berganza and Sean Galloway. Now it kind of looks like the team is back underwater, or maybe in space, although I don't remember how they decided to find the captured Blue Beetle or where they were when they found out he was alive. This strip has all the consistency and logic of a badly sequenced dream. I can't tell who is fighting who, who is supposed to be real, who is dead, and how these things are supposed to be happening. What I think is happening is that Trident has resurrected some dead bad guys, including Arthur Light, but maybe this is some sort of illusion. That would probably be a more pleasing and logical solution to this deeply troubling narrative. I would be grateful to the team of Berganza and Galloway, if they just stuck with Robin and Trident fighting each other, no words or anything, so at least I would have a better vantage to see if I am actually capable of enjoying the art apart from the confusing narrative it is meant to serve.

15. "Superman" by John Arcudi and Lee Bermejo. I was willing to give this book the benefit of the doubt for a while, but it doesn't seem to be improving, and even the art is grating on me at this point. Even as far as mindless superhero action, we get shockingly little in the way of payoff. Bad alien punches Superman. End of comic. Meanwhile, Superman insinuates that the reason he may be so depressed is because of these wacky aliens, which sounds like it could be intriguing if Arcudi would maybe ease on the decompression a bit. Seriously, how long do you think it took Arcudi to write something like this. Six panels total, one brief thought-balloon monologue, and a few one-word exhortations shared between Superman and his antagonists. Not that long, unless I'm missing something.

Wednesday Comics #7

Lateness: that's to be expected (from me, not the Wednesday Comics team). Part of the problem is that I see here maybe 4 or 5 comics that could easily be in first place. As I correctly predicted at the beginning, this is going to get harder and harder further down the line.

1. "Strange Adventures" by Paul Pope. Seriously, I think it's this close between "Strange Adventures," "Deadman," "Wonder Woman" and maybe "Batman" this week. I don't think I can express how arbitrary it seems now having to choose between Pope's awesome depiction of Dr. Fate and the equally awesome splash page in "Deadman." I'll put Pope ahead this time because he mentions because he manages to combine two DC B-icons who seem to belong in different stratospheres--one being the pulp space adventurer Adam Strange and the other being the beloved Lovecraftian magic hero Dr. Fate in a way that makes sense. As Dr. Fate mentions, they are both archaeologists. I hadn't even thought about this before (to be honest, I know very little about both characters), but it gives Pope a perfect and perfectly logical opportunity to throw the two together in the best DC tradition. I'm not sure if the two actually meet--it seems to be playing on what Pope was doing last week in questioning if the adventures of "Adam Strange" are really the delusions of an excitable archaeologist--but Dr. Fate does give Strange some crucial information via dreams. Pope's visual depiction of Fate is ridiculously good, in that you can see that there exists a regular looking man underneath the cool helmet. More bonus points go to Pope for his "Black Dog of Fear!!" which doesn't really get followed upon yet. As hoary as the concept generally is of the protagonist finding crucial plot devices via dreams, Pope makes me excited to see Adam Strange suit up again.

2. "Deadman" by Dave Bullock and Vinton Heuck. Nobody does it better than Bullock, making dynamic splash pages that seem worthy of being placed on one's wall but at the same time advance a satisfactory lot of plot details and intrigue. More than previous issues, this strip eschews common panel borders and makes novel use of space in other, more interesting ways, with floating talking heads relating the plot, surrounding the evil blood-soaked demon that likes flaying the flesh of women. The central image is amongst the most brutal and disturbing we have yet seen from Wednesday Comics, incongruous given our association with Bullock's style and various DC animated series. I love how you still get Deadman's ridiculous white-D underneath his disembodied head, as do I love the way the blood gets thicker and closer in the composition as you move your eye down the page. "Deadman" has at this point I think cemented its reputation as the most underrated, if not the best comic in Wednesday Comics, and it would take a lot of energy for Bullock and Heuck to knock it off that perch. For the first time in my life, I wonder why Boston Brand can't carry his own series. He's the kind of affable everyman that seems to abound in the Marvel universe but has less of a place in DC.

3. "Wonder Woman" by Ben Caldwell. In which Caldwell throws us back into the story with these immortal words by Etta Candy: "I had this rawsome dream...with a giant lollipop an'--what happened?" If part of the success of Wednesday Comics can be measured by the means in which these creators are able to distill the mythology of their subject matter in a way that suggests the superiority of a new brand of creator-owned continuity, then I think Wonder Woman is doing us the greatest service by throwing together basically all of WW's best-known villains, sidekicks, and gadgets. It has always been hard to get excited by Cheetah and Dr. Poison (let alone Wonder Woman herself), but by placing them in a larger and more thoughtful narrative, removing complications and discrepancies in the same way that many comic book movies do, we can finally see them for the potentially fiendish protagonists that they are. This is all secondary, however, compared to Caldwell's immense growth as an artist as this series has progressed. Certainly, no one save for maybe Kerschl has tried so man new things, and made such novel use of space. Last week, I mentioned how Caldwell has managed to write a script that has us looking downward as opposed to rightward, and he does the same thing this week, and it seems to work even better this time. The plot elements seem to be coming together, the endings are getting less repetitive, and I think people will be surprised how good this strip is once it is collected in trade form.

4. "Batman" by Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso. Surprisingly, Risso tries the same downward momentum trick as Caldwell, although with only a fraction of the content that Caldwell manages to pack into every page (which according to nearly every Wednesday Comics fan is a bad thing--the same kind of people that bitch that movies are too long these days, as if they want to spend more money for less entertainment). Not that I am accusing anyone of copying, as Risso clearly has his own brilliant style, which unfortunately hasn't afforded many straight-ahead shots of Batman yet. Instead, Risso likes to focus on some sort of small object, particularly in free-fall, as he does so here. One half of the page shows Batman torturing a henchman by threatening to drop broken glass on his neck; the other half of the page shows Batman doing someting similar, only this time it's a cigarette butt to the eye. It's not like you can really tell what's going on at this point (or why a guy would hold on to his ciarette for this long). Just some more Azzarello noir stuff, at it's core. As is often the case with noir, what seems to be sort of pedestrian and mundane at first becomes endlessly fascinating at the end (this was surely often the case with 100 Bullets). I would never underestimate this team's capacity to surprise me.

5. "Flash Comics" by Karl Kerschl and Breandan Fletcher. As if you didn't think the game could change anymore (or that all this time travel stuff could get more confusing), Kerschl and Co. combine the "Flash" and "Iris West" strips into one linear whole, the only difference being marked by the benday dots used in the latter. Kerschl has been hinting that all these disconnected strips add up to a gloriously complicated paradox of sorts, but he hasn't really given us the keys to understanding how exactly this is going to flow, yet. All I know is that it involves Gorilla Grodd capturing the Flash's speed powers to go back in time and take over the world, and meanwhile Barry and Iris have a falling out, compounded by the fact that Flashes from the future keep trying to come back and fix things. Seriously, the Flash should consider not doing that in the future. I quasi-predicted that this would lead to "Sound of Thunder" type material, and the end of this strip seems to suggest I'm right. Still, a terrifying smiling monkey at a bar (drinking three glasses of wine simultaneously, no less) is a good way to get anyone's attention. Will this all add up someday? It doesn't have to, actually, but I bet it will. My suggestion to Kerschl and Fletcher is to not try too hard.

6. "Metamorpho, the Elemant Man" by Neil Gaiman and Mike Allred. I can only reframe my expectations for this strip so many times, which I guess is a good thing, even if we haven't seen much instance of Gaiman playing with audience expectations like this in the past. Is this a straight-ahead superhero story? Is it a joke? Is it some sort of postmodern metacommentary? And when will we know, exactly? This issue errs closer on the linear story format, although we get a few cues from Java that we are still in arch-joke territory. And really, with Allred on art, you have even less of an idea of what we are reading is genuine or mocking postmodern pastiche. Perhaps Gaiman would argue that I am thinking too hard. We get to meet Algon, the original Element Man, who speaks some sundry words in Latin. He's not important What is up with Java, though? Is he the secret hero at the heart of this? Is he the one whose machinations are attempting to destroy the rest of the team? Again, it may be a joke. I'm more than willing to go along for the ride--for now.

7. "Metal Men" by Dan DiDio, Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and Kevin Nowlan. Now this I can tell is definitely a joke. Not that I'd expect anything less from any Metal Men book (of which there are apparently two now--how cool is that?). Chemo, the gigantic toxic thing, just tore the roof off a bank, if you'll recall. The Metal Men are apparently less equipped to stop them as I thought, given that they may not be organic but are still made of metal susceptible to the kind of corrosive liquids Chemo likes to burp out. Tin finds this out the hard way, which is fine with me, as he has always been my least favorite Metal Man, except for platinum. I think other people have commented that this is one of the most normal-looking strips in the entire project, and it's certainly something one could imagine being broken-down into an 8 12 x 10 format. Still, this is a fun comic that allows me to entertain my fantasy of having the Metal Men actually go up against a supervillain by their lonesome, as opposed to getting Lead to cover Superman so he can punch through Metallo's heart. Good for DiDio, getting this out there. Maybe he should write more.

8. "Hawkman" by Kyle Baker. Apparently the little guy with the huge glasses who barely made it out of th plane crash last issue is actually a girl. I apologize for such a base and disgusting inaccuracy; the glasses really fooled me. This continues to bee a really good-looking comic, with Baker's Hawkman in particular in the running for most definitive-looking in a long time. The story has sort of slowed to a halt, as apparently all the Justice League is dispatched to fight the remaining alien invaders, and without his wings, Hawkman is pretty much a lame duck. I can only imagine that the new course this strip has taken (Hawkman without wings on Dinosaur Island!) is a way of getting at the beauty of the character deprived of his source of power, which if you think about it is a pretty week power to begin with (did he lose his mace and sword too? I don't remember). Part of the reason I like this comic so much is that I've always had a soft spot for the character, and always thought he should be more than a peripheral force in the Justice League (and why he keeps getting relegated to the Justice Society, I don't know). Sure, he's an alien with a mace that can fly, which doesn't seem that useful, but I imagine him performing a similar function as Wolverine: throw legions of minor bad guys at him and he can take them all, and send him on stealth missions in space. And the less of this Egyptian stuff, probably the better.

9. "Sgt. Rock and Easy Co." by Adam Kubert and Joe Kubert. "Sgt. Rock" continues to get the award for "best-looking comic where nothing really happens), or it did until this week, when finally Sgt. Rock is freed from his chair by one of those good Nazis one hears about occasionally. Joe Kubert keeps it minimal, not adding much depth to the backgrounds but focusing instead on the faces of Sgt. Rock (bruised and welty) and his savior Gustav (old, balding). Just as we are about to see some Sgt. Rock action, we cut ("Nearby, a shadowy furtive group emerges from the torn ground") to Easy Co. battling a grenade that looks like a potato. Of course, now that Rock's free, does he really need these guys? For a comic that's going at a snail's pace, this is still pretty enjoyable and fun. I can't imagine Joe Kubert doing anything less than churning out great-looking, consistent pop art.

10. "The Demon and Catwoman" by Walt Simonson and Brian Stelfreeze. Maybe my problem with this comic is that I've been made apprehensive by the fact that a solo Demon series always needs to involve Morgaine Le Fay in some ways. I get that this is a Kirby creation and Jason Blood's Arthurian roots are part of the bargain, but how often does this lady need to keep coming up? And while we're at it, there are a few rather large plot holes here. Can Le Fay turn Etrigan back into Jason Blood any time she wants too? If so, why not earlier? How did Catwoman turn back to normal? While Jason Blood may not be Etrigan, he still has a few magic powers at his disposal, some of which he probably doesn't need to talk in order to use. This comic is at least beginning to look better, however, as I get more used to Stelfreeze's style. Still, I am disappointed that Etrigan and Jason Blood are so easy taken down by a woman who he must have fought thousands of times at this point.

11. "Kamandi: The Last Boy On Earth!" by Dave Gibbons and Ryan Sook. This issue of "Kamandi" seems a bit more dry than what we have been used to lately. Whereas in Wonder Woman it seems like Ben Caldwell mixes and matches all of Wonder Woman's best elements to point towards something new, Gibbons is basically throwing out Kirby tropes to the point of banality, and even Ryan Sook, as good as he is, can't disguise the fact that nothing is really happening this time around. I could have easily predicted the money shot image, of the Tiger Legion walking away defeated, given that it seems like the Tiger Legion are always being beaten (maybe it's Gorilla Grodd's doing). I also find myself not very interested in this new girl that pops up, although maybe that will change. Right now, I want to see more of Kamandi and Dr. Canus doing their thing, and less of them copying note for note the episode of Batman: The Brave and the Bold when he went to the future. I feel as if I am being inconsistent in praising some books for their adherence to previous mythology, while in other books it seems banal; maybe I am completely wrong.

12. "Superman" by John Arcudi and Lee Bermejo. Something does happen in this strip (Superman gets punched in the face), and really, that's all we need to see at this point. I'm confused at what these aliens are doing at this point, but they seem to be able to read minds. And are there two of them now? Should I remember what's supposed to be happening? After weeks and weeks of a forlorn Clark Kent walking around Smallville, I suppose this is supposed to be the payoff, but I'd almost rather they kept doing what they were doing before. There's not much to excite me here, as there used to be, and I imagine that the next five weeks are going to be devoted to a lot of punching. Oh well. And meanwhile, Caldwell manages to work in plenty of punching on his own time, in addition to everything else.

13. "Supergirl" by Jimmi Palmiotti and Amanda Conner. Who didn't see this coming? Aquaman can't help Supergirl out with their unruly pets, because he can only talk to fish. Duh. It's as if this entire Aquaman subplot is being used to waste a few weeks' worth of time so that the whole conclusion of the Krypto-Streaky saga doesn't seem drawn out. A lot of the people like the depiction of Aquaman here, but I dunno...I'm not the kind of guy who bitches about a lack of seriousness in the depictions of my favorite superheroes, but Aquaman's dialogue here is just completely cringe-worthy. The "Aquaman can only talk to fish" joke has been done to death by pretty much everyone, and it's even more lame when DC tries to get in on the joke itself. At least we don't see Aquaman acting like a total dick, in that he realizes that he's not being fair and recommends that Supergirl check out Dr. Mid-Nite. Again, why? Are we to expect a bunch of blind jokes now? As much as I'd like to see Dr. Mid-Nite in any context, I'm hoping Palmiotti doesn't continue to bank on cute DC cliches for content. Although I know as well as anyone that you can get a lot of mileage out of them.

14. "Teen Titans" by Eddie Berganza and Sean Galloway. The only interesting thing about this strip as far as I can tell is that it is the only one that acknowledges Final Crisis. So make whatever of that what you will. Is this actually meant to be set in the recent DC past? The new Blue Beetle suggests yes. With him gone, the strip continues to be difficult and unpleasant to look at, as we seem to be looking at a computer base that happens to be outside and next to a bridge. The bad guy turns out to be the son of Dr. Light (which is where the Final Crisis part comes in: the Spectre melted him into a candle, if you'll remember). Superman pops up, which is confusing, and the fact that they think Arthur Light's torture was "deserved" reflects a stone-age, non-DC version of "Justice" very along the lines of what James Robinson does these days ("The guy was a rapist? Fuck due process! Turn him into a fucking candle!"). None of the Titans have any sort of personality yet, and I still don't know where they are going or what they seem to be doing. This is just a mess.

15. "Green Lantern" by Kurt Busiek and Joe Quinones. At first I was pleased to see that the Hal Jordan-Dillon bromance flashbacks were over, but now I am even more angry at this strip given that I know Kurt Busiek is way better at composing smackdowns than he shows here. Quinones is a good artist but everything he does seems so generic, it doesn't even belong in an anthology that is meant to show generic depictions of your favorite superheroes. I know it's hard in a project like this to keep up the action week to week using only one page, so I really really hope Busiek comes up with a novel way for Jordan to escape death this time around. Or better yet, just have him die. No, I am not part of H.E.A.T.